Being there
September 2, 2015, 3:55 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

“Lillianna!  Come back down”.

“No!”, she yelled from behind the tree line, up the hayfield a ways.


“No!”. She is a formidable opponent in a battle of stubbornness and is remarkably confident. Exhaustingly so.

“Trev, can you get Lil?” I asked from the rooftop of the van while I picked the day’s apples. He trotted up the hill engrossed in a running story he was creating of pirates and trolls.

“Yanna!” he called out.

“No!”, she shouted defiantly.

“Bud, just take her hand.” I watched expectantly, ready to take a hike up and carry her from whatever perch she’d claimed.

“I got her!” he replied matter of factly. They emerged hand in hand from the tall grass down the path, wrong hands joined so they spun in circles , taking turns, one forward, one back, then swapping again, jabbering away incoherently.

I had to stop picking to mark that exact moment with a photo of them at 1 and a half and almost 4. A tangible reminder to them of how precious they should be to one another. To always have each other’s hand, and back, no matter what their bickering may be. And, yes, they bicker like champs.

I lost my sister last week. Suddenly, unexpectedly, in her sleep at 50. I’m still processing all the feelings that go along with that. And I am trying to continue to learn something good everytime I experience something heartbreaking. So I have learned, and am learning, a lot over the past few years.

I am learning to tell people more how much they mean to me. That I love them. That I am proud of them. That I am here for them, how they need me. That even if I cannot be beside them right away, I always have their hand and their back.

And I hope that you all – Cakes, Ems, RooRoo, TT and Yanna Yanna pink pajama – help each other out of the woods, offering a hand to each other when it’s needed. And I’ll be here doing the same for as long as I have left.


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